Munk to counsellor: Dr.Jackson reflects

Q: How was your experience training as a monk, and how did that training lead to your counseling career? 

A: Before becoming a monk, I was an actor. 

While trying to understand my emotions in the conservatory, I started meditating more. Then a monk came to my school, and I asked him, “Can I go to your monastery and do a meditation retreat?”

He told me that I couldn't become a monk that easily; however, I didn't want to be a monk.

So he offered me a three-month retreat. During the three-month retreat in the monastery, it was totally different than I expected. 

Instead of beautiful forests in the jungle, the monastery was an old print factory on the side of the road. I decided to extend my stay there because it was so helpful for me. I shaved my head, put on a robe, and became a Samanera, a novice monk. Afterwards, I found other teachers that I thought were better and more grounded in Burma and Sri Lanka. 

When I was in Burma, I was going for enlightenment, and exploring my emotional life.

Q: Are there any moments during your retreat that meant a lot to you?

When I was in a deep retreat in Myanmar at the Pa Auk Forest Monastery, every day I had to walk past the old monks with my begging bowl for food.

I was an actor, so I was like, I'm gonna show them how happy I am—how at peace I am. So I would walk by with a big smile, but all the old monks would just eye me, turn away, or shake their heads. It's like they couldn't even look at me.

But then I had this moment. I was meditating 10, 14 hours a day for months in a row, and as I was watching my mind, I realized I was pushing away a feeling—the feeling was sadness. For my whole life, unintentionally, I've looked at sadness as bad, as something I need to get rid of. But what if, with mindfulness, I just allowed myself to experience all the emotions that I was experiencing?

So finally, I allowed the sadness to be there. I was scared. I thought I was gonna sink into it. But instead, it was just a little bit of sadness. I felt like I'd been spending so much time and effort trying to push it away or pretend it wasn't there, but instead, I could just let it be. 

I had this image in my head: I was treading water, trying to keep my head above. And then all of a sudden, I put my feet down and realized I was only in two feet of water. I felt sheepish.

So I decided I'm just going to let my feelings be whatever they are.

One day, I walked down to the pindapat line, which is where you take your begging bowl and beg for food. This time, when I walked past all the old monks, I thought, you know what? I don't need to smile at them. I'm just gonna be feeling how I feel. I don't need to pretend for them or whatever. 

When I walked past them this time, they smiled, nodded at me, and gave me a thumbs-up. And I was like, oh, like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing—just allowing whatever is there to be there. 

I think that's been a really different approach to my emotional life. On one side, I was just presenting for people, and it's a lot of effort. It's exhausting. Then on the other side, I was just gonna let myself be however. Ultimately, it's good to have the flexibility and know how to do one or the other.

Q: What inspired you to turn towards counseling? 

A: Since I did a lot of talking with people,  I figured psychology was a good fit. Participating in research at the Max Planck Institute in Germany about meditation helped me see how that helps people. 

But when I actually started the work, the endless hours felt overwhelming. Despite being part of the best institution, the unhealthy environment reminded me of my healthy, wholesome experience as a monk. I wanted to be able to share this sentiment, which deviated me to make different choices and turn towards Deerfield. I knew that at Deerfield there's a community where colleagues are incredibly supportive and beneficial for my kids. This switch has helped me make better decisions for my overall well-being.

Q: With the rise in mental health problems in our age group and some going towards AI for help, how has your approach with counseling changed recently? 

A: AI can be incredibly helpful. There are platforms that compare and contrast peer-reviewed research that are super helpful. But AI also knows exactly what dopamine hits. 

Social media already pumps the entire world into one nervous system. Our nervous system was built for what humanity was 70,000 years ago. Culture has changed so quickly, and AI is going to make this change worse. It's going to get harder as culture shifts even further away from what our nervous systems are comfortable with. 

As this shift happens, we need to understand what will make the human nervous system happy. If we don't, we're going to keep following Elon Musk to Mars. 

Q: What is the most valuable advice you have when it comes to counseling high school students? In what ways do teenagers need the most support right now at this stage? How are the counselors trying to achieve that? 

A: It is important to develop awareness of when you feel overstimulated or overwhelmed. Specifically, awareness of your internal experience, thoughts, feelings, and relationships. It is also important to understand how these affect you. 

I’ll start helping students develop coping strategies for stressful situations, for example, cyclical sighing or deep breathing. I think developing mental fitness is really helpful. It can hone your ability to calm your nervous system quickly and help develop self-compassion. 

Acceptance for yourself and being extremely ambitious are compatible. Learning how to effectively express your needs, learning how to get your needs met within a system, and understanding the levers can help support emotional intelligence. 

Communication, stress reduction, and understanding your emotional life help for emotional resilience. If somebody can leave Deerfield with that emotional resilience and that emotional intelligence, that's a differentiator. 

What makes people rise to leadership within organizations is emotional intelligence. 

Intelligence can get you so far, but emotional intelligence is what drives that success. For good well-being and success, what's important is mental fitness, emotional resilience, and communication.